It's sorta strange, but I'm starting to realize: I really don't have a self. I'm really not the same person from moment to moment, or from place to place. When I'm with one crowd, I'm "Eric with these people" and I'm another person with another group. Even when I'm by myself, I'm playing the part of "Eric by himself". What am I really? Am I the part that stays the same at all times, or is that just a slightly more consistant act? To tell you the truth, I actually like the idea that I am really everything I play at being. If I had to stay one person forever, I'd get bored very quickly. I like being unpredictable, even to myself. Keeps life interesting.
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In the immortal words of Robertson Davies: "I cannot remember a time when I did not take it as understood that everybody has at least two, if not twenty-two, sides to him." (Fifth Business 68) People are too complex to have a set personality; even the most constant people I know are so multi-faceted that it is amazing to watch the transformation they undergo when they are in different situations. To quote the perhaps less immortal Terminal Philosopher: "I realized that I'm not a character on a television show. I'm a human being. And as a human being, I'm allowed to have enough complexity to at times be earnest and child-like, and at other times be cynical and sophisticated. I don't have to fit into a character-type." (A rare glimpse behind the facade?)
Just be you, man, what ever that "you" happens to be at the time.
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