Coping

Here I sit, listening to angry folk and drinking aged whiskey. I found out yesterday that my uncle died. I'm still trying to understand how I feel about this, or maybe how I should feel about this.

I barely knew Axel. He was my dad's brother, older than him by 2 years. He lived mostly in BC, so we rarely saw him. What I did hear of him was never good: a thief, a man who basically sponged off others, and lived out of his car. (But what separates him from me? What gives me the right to judge him? I don't know the circumstances of his life...)

All I can feel right now is a sense of sympathy for his wife and kids. For him, I feel a detached sense of loss, but I honestly have nothing else to tie any other feeling to. I wish I had known him better, even if he wasn't the best person in the world. I really have no idea of who he was as a person, and now I'll never really know.